'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
