I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize