do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
