I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize