we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
