U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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