so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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