Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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