I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
