I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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