Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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