nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
