he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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