It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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