I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
