ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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