I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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