Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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