We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
