I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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