So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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