She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
