Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
