Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
