You're so nebulous sometimes
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
