We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
