Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
