Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
