That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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