Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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