sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
