T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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