No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Drake has all the answers
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
