Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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