i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
