Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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