i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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