you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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