New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize