That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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