dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
