I want to walk on stilts...naked
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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