I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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