You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
