May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
