margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
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I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN