margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
