dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno