Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He passed out mid-signature
Dating After Heartbreak
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...