I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol