i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.