I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Jerry, you need to find god
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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