You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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