i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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