How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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