She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize