? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
