I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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