just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
