Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
