I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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