Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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