I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
