Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
