Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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